my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
