Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What a dumb baby whore.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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