Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
