I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
