Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he was CRYING into my vagina
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
