I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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