i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
