I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I touched a dick in church today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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