There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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