i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
