covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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