So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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