How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
