Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
