Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
