she was so not down for the gang bang
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
