My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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