..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Randomize
