Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Randomize
