If i come over, it means nothing
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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