If i could tip my vagina, i would.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
