Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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