Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
