I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
