currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
