im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
