Say something about gay babies.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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