I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
