worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
ok first of all what the fuck
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
