Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
