just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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