You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
