I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
