And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
