I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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