honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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