so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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