That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
