i just google imaged poop.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
