He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
