Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
should my penis look like a turkey
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So vagazzling was a success
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
