Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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