From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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