wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize