I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
