i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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