These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
