just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
