yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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