I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All the doctor said was why
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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