I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
