You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
