i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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